Each day, many parents have to make the tough decision of either staying at home with their children or going to work. The conversation can be frustrating, and sometimes excruciating, but they must face the harsh reality that while the children need the time, the pocketbook may need the job! Unfortunately, often times, most mothers are not afforded the opportunity to stay home. Growing up, my amazing stepmother stayed home with my younger brothers and sisters and after seeing the benefits that were gained I knew once I had children, I wanted to do the same. So after marrying my God-sent husband and we started our family, I was blessed to be able to stay home for almost 6 years!
Choosing to stay at home with my Lon V. and The Braxx Man should already acquaint you with how devoted I am to them and their livelihood. My husband and I made sacrifices, but each sacrifice was well worth it! However, if I could just be real for a second, when you are with your children all day…everyday…your patience begins to run low! With each “Mommy…Mom…Momma…Maaaaa” you grow a little more inpatient. Every little thing, even the innocent kid mistakes, have a tendency to step on that ONE LAST NERVE that was hanging on for dear life! Can a Momma get an AMEN?! But due to me now working outside of the home, subsequently, I am not with them as much and therefore I have become eager to see their little smiling, sometimes frowning, faces, I am more thrilled to hear about their day through their petite voices, and I am more excited to play a board game or two! And as much as I love my babies, 1 month ago, sometimes hearing the name “Mommy” over and over sounded like nails scraping a chalkboard; I am happy to report…This is no longer the case!
Even at the lowest of lows I’ve never regretted the decision to be a stay-at-home momma, however, as my London got to her preschool and early elementary years, I found I wanted more; to work or not to work? That WAS the question! I started to realize that I was ready to return to corporate America but deep down I struggled because I felt that I would be sacrificing my family and in some sense I was unwilling to do so. So the decision to go back to work wasn’t easy, but when my husband and I decided it was time, I was at least going to go into a field in which I loved- Designing and Decorating homes. It has currently been one month since I have transitioned from being a stay-at-home momma to a working momma. I’ve gotten paid twice (insert “Money Money Money” by Abba here) and due to the extra income my husband’s stress level has decreased significantly! The extra income is helping with the load of bills, and this working momma is loving it! Admittedly, this has been no walk in the park; maybe a hike on a difficult trail…But no walk in the park.
1. The Sandman is a'lurkin'
We all know about that wonderful guy who goes by the name Sandman! According to Wikipedia, The Sandman is a mythical character in Western and Northern European folklore who puts people to sleep and brings good dreams by sprinkling magical sand into their eyes. And let me tell you, The Sandman is always waiting for me once I open our garage door! This has become the biggest challenge since I’ve started working. When I stayed home, I was able to sneak an occasional nap when the kids went down but now I feel like I went from #TeamEnergy to #TeamNoSleep! In all honesty, once I go to my bedroom to take off the corporate suit and slip on my mom pants, I am really ready to fall fast asleep, but going to sleep at 6pm without feeding your children is unheard of and can likely be classified as some form of child abuse. Trying to maintain the routine from 30 days ago is giving me a run for my money, I used to be able to enjoy a family movie, but now, the Sandman sits right next to me with his hand in my popcorn bowl, I am sure to fall asleep within 20 minutes!
2. The Mommy Guilt
A couple of days out of the month I have to work until 8pm. My husband works second shift which leaves me to pick up our children. I arrive to the babysitter’s home at around 8:30pm and by the time we get home it is time to start the bedtime routine. Pajamas…check. Teeth…check. Bedtime story…maybe! The late work nights have definitely put a strain on the usual routine. Some days London looks into my eyes and asks, “Mommy, why are you just now picking us up? I haven’t seen you all day. Will we be able to do something together tonight?” Since I’ve started work I have already missed one of her school events. Thank God my husband was able to attend and facetime me but missing her mini winter concert crushed my heart. Mommy guilt shows up at anytime…day or night. And can I tell you, it is the ABSOLUTE worst! It hits you in your stomach, turns into a knot, and will make you cry at your cubicle, on your way home, or even worse, right in front of your children. I know going back to work is the best decision for our family but overcoming The Mommy Guilt is a challenge that will take time for me to conquer.
3. “Yo Momma Lazy”
Because The Sandman apparently is trying to take residence in our home and stays waiting for me every day after work, the chores around the house become, hmmmm, how do I put this, well not a priority! Currently, I have three loads of laundry just spread out in our living room. When it will be done? I’m not sure. In addition, I’ve become lazy with doing activities with my children. The other day, my children asked if I could read them a bedtime story and I responded with, “Aren’t you learning how to read at school?” I’m laughing now as I write this but the fact that I have no energy to read a book to my children is unacceptable. So I’ve decided to give myself an activity calendar to be sure that my family does not suffer from our decision for me to re-join the corporate workforce.
So Here it is…
“Arts & Craft” Monday
“Reading With Mommy” Tuesday
“We’re Not Doing Anything Today” Wednesday
“Let’s Bake” Thursday
“I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for PIZZA” Friday
Motherhood is no easy job so whether you work outside of the home or stay at home with your children please know, you’re an amazing Momma. & if no one has told you today, you’re doing an incredible job.