Four Mistakes That I Made In 2016

I firmly believe that self-evaluation plays an important role in the overall development of an individual. Every now and then we should take a time-out to evaluate and reflect on our lives; this is a very necessary step in the process to measure your life’s progression. I guarantee you that you will make some interesting self-discoveries; some good and some bad. So after doing some self-reflecting, here are FOUR Mistakes that I made in 2016 that I plan on NOT making in 2017.

 

 1. Self-Help

The problem with being strong is nobody ever bothers to ask if you are okay.
— unknown

If I had to sum up the start of 2016 in 1 word…TOUGH! If I am completely transparent it had to be one of the toughest times that I have ever had to endure. My husband and I had just shut the doors of our church and my emotions were everywhere. But in typical Porscha fashion, I continued on with life like everything was completely normal. My smile…never left.  Encouraging posts on Facebook…never stopped.  Attendance at social events…never ended. But deep down, I needed encouragement, my heart was in shambles and I needed help more than ever! We have conditioned ourselves to believe that pushing through the pain means we are strong, but I totally disagree. I was struggling to keep everything together to be “strong” for everyone else, while internally, everything else, more importantly, I, was falling apart.  When you deny your true feelings and emotions you’re really harming yourself and as a result many of us fall into depression. The emotions can sometimes be so overwhelming that you no longer have control of your heart and now your mental state is affected.  

If I could have a “do-over” for the start of 2016, I would do one major thing differently- acknowledge that I needed to care for myself!  You are absolutely no good when you are constantly pouring yourself out to others and never taking the time to have someone or something pour into you. Recognize your emotions and deal with them. No longer will I bury my emotions because someone wants me to be “strong’. Go & get help!

 Which takes me to my second mistake in 2016.

 

2. “We Wear The Mask”

If we truly want the character of Christ, we must expose our weaknesses, shed our hypocrisy and stop pretending. God called us to BE TRANSPARENT.
— Paul Tan

I eventually took it off - thank God! But why did it take so long?! The freeing of The Mask was so beneficial. Not only for me but for my children and husband. Wearing “The Mask” takes so much unnecessary work but most importantly it hinders you from experiencing true intimacy with God. God is not like man, we don’t need to impress Him. In 2016 as well as in previous years I lost the shift of my focus and I put on this Mask.  The Mask of death, as it was slowly killing me!  I served as co-pastor of our church and because I was a Pastor’s wife people expected me to act, dress, pray, and just be a certain way. Some Sunday mornings before entering the church I would sit in the car longer than usual.  On these days, I was dealing with some of my own problems and I wasn’t quite ready to put a smile on my face. But as soon as I opened my car door and the heel of my shoe hit the pavement, I would instantly put on my Mask. Now, I am placing the blame where it belongs- on myself!  But I’m here to say that the only Mask that I will be wearing in 2017 is Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Radiance Mud Mask.

When you talk with other people- be willing to tell them the full story of how God has worked in your life. Realize that the story of your brokenness could truly free someone else. Do not be afraid to remove your Mask and tell others what God has and is going to do for you!

 

3. Loosing Myself

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.
— Jean Shinoda Bolen

Ughhhh! Why do I keep doing this to myself?! Anyone who knows me knows I love to workout. But when we moved to Lexington in September my workout regime became non-existent and now I've gain all of my weight back plus a FEW EXTRA. When living in Cincinnati, OH I had a good routine going on when it came to my workouts. I even formed  gym family at the current workout facility that my membership was set up at. Everyone knew me and I knew them. They even knew Braxton aka The Braxx Man and would always give him balloons paired with multiple high fives. Even though Lexington, KY wasn't a far move from Cincinnati. It was still a HUGE transition for my family and I and its been four months and I’m just now getting back in the swing of things and finally feeling like my old self. As a result, I'm extremely upset with myself because the way my metabolism is set up…it takes MONTHS to lose just a pound or two. Ok, maybe not MONTHS but months. Losing 10lbs in a month is not my testimony- it really takes closer to three months. I’m pretty good at anything that I put my heart into but this fitness journey is something that I have not been able to master. Why can’t fries and bread be healthy??!?! Like the great William McDowell said “I’m never going back” and in 2017 I have to be committed to not just losing weight but becoming healthier all around.

 

Who’s with me?!

 

4. Gotta Give Him Some Mo Lovin' 

Giving him something, he can feel
— En Vogue

I'm just one of those people who believes that there is always room to improve. Another mistake I made in 2016- not loving my husband the way that he needed or wanted. He works so hard to provide for our family and unfortunately he’s always the last one to buy a new outfit, or do something nice for himself. I honestly don’t think he bought anything for himself last year. I never want him to feel that we don’t appreciate him because we absolutely adore him!! I want to take him out on dates, allow himself to buy nice things...I want him to feel the love that we feel for him.  Often times we get caught up in the ins and outs of day that we innocently neglect those closest and most important to us. So in 2017, it’s all about him and what I can do for him to make his life more enjoyable.

 

 

Now it is your turn to conduct a self-evaluation. Be sure to answer each question/ statement as honestly as possible.

  • List your strengths and areas needing improvement.
  • What are your biggest priorities right now?
  • Are there any changes that could be made to improve your effectiveness?     
  • Where do you think you need to devote more time and energy?
  • Where do you see yourself in a year, 5 years, and 10 years?